Roseberrycupcakes~Addiction can be to anything ~sharing her personal journey with us

Regarding the drug speculation:

While JD and Skippy were respectful enough not to fuel false claims of Harry’s drug problems, I understand that there were other platforms (like the comment sections of multiple news outlets) that allowed such malicious speculations to continue. While only Harry knows what he’s up to every day, allow me to prove with objective and logical evidence that he’s not abusing illicit substances.

Those who falsely accuse Harry of drug use seem to use a picture of his dilated pupils at a recent engagement and his noticeable weight loss as “proofs.” While it’s true that certain illegal drugs cause dilated pupils and/or weight loss, abductive reasoning cannot be applied in this case. For one, while illicit substances like marijuana and cocaine CAN cause dilated pupils, many other innocuous medications have the same effects. Allergy and cold medications like antihistamines, ADHD medication like methylphenidate, tricyclic antidepressant like Elavil are just some of the oral medications that can cause pupils to dilate. Besides oral medications, there are eye drops that dilate pupils called mydriatics. Mydriatics are often used in ophthalmologic exams like fundoscopy. I don’t know which was the case for Harry, but I do know that it’s a hasty judgment to accuse someone of drug use based on one picture of dilated pupils.

If there are those, who want to insist that Harry IS using illegal drugs, allow me to remind you: cocaine may cause weight loss, but marijuana causes WEIGHT GAIN. Therefore, if his enemies want to use weight loss in conjunction with his dilated pupils, they would be accusing him of cocaine abuse, which is far serious than cannabis use. With films like The Wolf of the Wall Street, even the general public is aware of the elites’ use and abuse of cocaine. While it is true that cocaine is an excellent stimulant and helps people under time crunch finish their jobs, it is quite ludicrous to suggest that Harry would feel tempted to use such substance often enough for its effect to show during a public engagement for the following reasons:

#1. Cocaine is not a cigarette. It’s a substance capable of inducing behavior changes. If Harry were a shy introvert suddenly displaying over-the-top behaviors, these false accusations might have some legitimacy; but from what I know, Harry was always someone who’s outgoing and friendly. Unless his enemies are trying to suggest that he’s been abusing cocaine for years (which doesn’t hold ground, because he only lost a noticeable amount of weight during his short “relationship” with Ms. Markle), his mannerisms don’t support cocaine use.

#2. Pupils are often compared to camera lenses; they control the amount of light that comes in. That’s why our pupils constrict under bright lights; remember the times you used to look up at the sun when you were young (and not so young)? Intense brightness prevents our eyes from focusing properly; therefore, having dilated pupils from medications or from routine exams can be extremely uncomfortable to the patients themselves. In fact, patients are warned after fundoscopy to refrain from performing activities that require concentration (e.g., driving) for several hours. If Harry’s a drug user, he must know that his pupils dilate or at least that he’s uncomfortable under bright lights while under the effect of such drugs. As Harry’s engagements are not impromptu (at least not to him), why would he use drugs right before an event that requires him being under bright flashlights from multiple cameras?

#3. If the critics are still unconvinced, let me remind them that Harry’s a fully grown man working at public functions; yes, public figures are capable of drug use. I do not deny that, but to suggest that people around him are ignorant of his changes in behaviors or alleged substance abuse would be naive. Contrary to the popular assumption that people around Harry are “yes men,” I somehow doubt that. Harry’s not a politician or a businessman; he has a family reputation to uphold, and people who work for him know that. If Harry fails, they’re the first ones to be fired; therefore, even if they weren’t loyal to him on a personal basis, their job performance depends on his, and they would feel obligated to make sure he didn’t do anything compromising at a public function.

There was a reason I felt compelled to write out logical arguments against a silly claim. Even if Harry’s not the one suffering from drug addictions, people are reading these articles who ARE. Harry might be able to waive off those mean-spirited comments by saying their accusations are false; but what about the real addicts reading them? Who can lessen the shame these suffers feel while reading those comments that are actually relevant to THEM? Addiction is not something to be ashamed of; it’s something to be solved. The only shameful thing about addiction is the OTHER’s inclination to turn it into something shameful. The dangers of drug addictions don’t just lie in the drugs themselves; it’s the ADDICTION part that makes them so fatal and heartbreaking. Yet it’s sad how the society places emphasis on “drug” part of this massive problem. You can be addicted to literally anything these days–this is what makes addictions so dangerous.

As a physician, it’s a routine part of history taking to ask the patients if they drink or smoke. If the answer to either one or both is an affirmation, I’m required to educate them on the dangers of excessive drinking and smoking however mild and advise them–no, tell them–to quit; however knowing that quite a few doctors are the worst of the worst hypocrites in these cases, I like to educate my patients this way instead: “As a doctor, I’m morally and ethically obligated to talk about the dangers of drinking excessively and/or smoking and advise you to quit; but with my white coat off, let’s admit it–you can get addicted to anything these days. I can’t force you to quit something you don’t want to; because even if I can get you to, you can easily get addicted to something else. What I will tell you is that its ADDICTION and loss of self-control that makes anything and everything dangerous. If and when you want help, I’ll be here.” Practicing this repertoire was more effective than I originally anticipated. Because my patients didn’t feel ashamed to come forward with their problems, they were much more compliant. Even though I wasn’t their family physician who followed their progress, I knew they were doing well.

Like I said, you can get addicted to anything–with Hollywood scandals and #metoo movement, more people than ever are aware of sex addictions, but you can get addicted to even the most innocuous things. For me, it was food, specifically carbohydrates–bread, pasta, cookies, you name it. No one really noticed it; at most, my friends thought I was gluttonous when it came to junk food; everyone thought I was OK because I’m always the one supposed to be OK. Wherever I am, whoever I’m with, I was always the one listening. I’m the happy one. I’m the empathetic one. I’m the agreeable one. I’m the easy-going one. I’m the one asking how people are, how their day went, and what they want. While I knew some cared to an extent, I knew many–if not all–would freak out if they knew just how broken I felt. Everyone, even my family, though I was living a privileged life–a “perfect” life as my former best friend put it–and the instant I made any complaint, I was lambasted by my closest loved ones as being ungrateful or being naive. I couldn’t tell anyone–not even my then-boyfriend whom I deeply loved. If I tried to break out of the mold they made for me, they would accuse someone else of changing me: my family and friends would accuse my then-boyfriend, and he would accuse them. None of them realized that they were all perpetrators in forcing me into this box of a cheerful little sweetheart. Because I didn’t have an outlet, I turned inwards–I ate. I had no other way; I couldn’t drink, because even without the time constraints, it would have been fatal to practice medicine while under the influence. I couldn’t smoke, because reputations matter in hospitals. But no one can begrudge a hungry med student or a doctor for stuffing cookies when they’re studying/working ungodly hours.

No matter how innocent it seemed, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I felt ashamed, so much so that I would eat only when I was alone in my dorm or at my studio apartment; funny thing is, at the time of compulsion, the post-consumption shame seemed negligible. Soon, the vicious cycle began: eating to waive off shame, then another bout of shame following eating. My boyfriend at the time didn’t help either; if anything, he fueled it by insisting that we go out for a meal every night; he would buy boxes full of cookies and sweets instead of jewelry and/or flowers, and this was another point I wanted to make: wrong people, no matter how good their intentions may have been, will aggravate the issues you have. Indeed, shortly after I broke up with him, I went out for a meal, and I remember being shocked at the realization that I couldn’t eat the salmon steak in front of me, because it reminded me of the times I went out to Japanese restaurants with him. Whatever wave of nostalgia I may have felt at the time soon dissipated when I realized the wide array of food I couldn’t eat anymore without thinking of him. That’s how much I depended on eating to handle my stress at that chapter in my life.

The reason I disclosed my own experience with addiction was to demonstrate that even the most seemingly competent people can suffer from it. Like I illustrated in the above, Harry’s not suffering from drug addictions; but even if he were, it’s extremely cruel, not just to him but to other suffers, to make derogatory comments regarding the matter. ANYONE can suffer from addictions. If you feel like you shouldn’t do it, but you find yourself doing it, and you keep repeating such behavior, it’s an addiction. Plain and simple. From eating to drinking to sex, there are no bounds when it comes to addictions. We should all realize its dangers in our society and support one another instead of berating a public figure based on an assumption and making real suffers feel ashamed.

-Roseberrycupcakes (RCC)~ the struggle of today’s stresses, instant information, looking for instant relief from stresses turn to a variety of therapeutic substances such as fool, street drugs or practices. We want our brain to release the dopamine to feel good again, I have the same as RCC, looking at carbs to help me crash. Carbs turn into sugar to help sustain the brain, too much makes you crash. RCC is smart enough, to associate certain foods with reminders of past painful encounters and not wanting to go there.  To me, Peeps are like crack, keep them away from me they become my precious. 

Thank you RCC, she is going to become a great Doctor, I’m so proud of her. 

If Harry has a drug problem as bad as the rumors make it to be , wouldn’t the BRF insist he get help before sending him out on engagements to represent the Queen ? Would he of been given the Commonwealth Youth Trust if he had a drug problem ? Surely someone at the BRF would of noticed and he would not of been allowed to represent HM while under the influence??


Exactly…thank you lattedahlattedah!  Very good points!  

Latteedah is wise

Royal wedding 2018: Meghan Markle and Prince Harry can expect THIS on wedding gift list

AS the nation prepares to celebrate the royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and today marks the seventh wedding anniversary of Prince William and Kate, we look back at what featured on gift lists back in 2011 and just what Harry and his bride can expect in 2018.

Royal wedding 2018: Meghan Markle and Prince Harry can expect THIS on wedding gift list


(**JD, this is the one I meant to send. So sorry I keep messing up. I’m just really sleep-deprived. Xoxo, Roseberry)

There was a reason I sent an extremely long post detailing what it is like to lose a patient from a physician’s point-of-view. If there was one thing that bothered me while I followed the coverage of this “relationship,” it was the fact that a woman who has long passed is kept from finding her peace. The incessant need by the media to drag Harry’s mother into this mess combined with the level of conspiracy surrounding that tragic day is not only disrespectful to her and her surviving family members, but also to the entire medical community.

From what I’ve noticed, many have wondered why Harry’s mother was not immediately transported to a nearby hospital. Indeed, it was the delay that birthed numerous conspiracy theories; but that delay had nothing to do with who she was; it had everything to do with French emergency medical system. The French system is unlike any in Anglo-Saxon countries, because its units are staffed with a physician, a nurse, and/or an EMT. In Anglo-Saxon countries, such team NEVER includes physicians unless it’s a mass scale emergency; doctors are simply too “valuable” to be dispatched for ONE patient when they can be seeing many in the ER; so it’s the EMTs or the paramedics that arrive on the scene. Indeed, the very reason the patients HAVE to be transported to the hospital as quickly as possible is BECAUSE these first responders are not doctors; I’m not saying this in any way, shape, or form to dismiss the hard work that all the first responders do; they play a vital role in stabilizing the patients on the scene, and I respect them greatly; but like I said in my previous submission, the buck stops with the doctors. That’s why ensuring that the physicians examine the patients as soon as possible is a key component in any emergency service; but because Franco-German model includes a physician as a team member, there is no need to transport the patient–ANY patient–to the hospital as quickly as they do in Anglo-Saxon countries. The physicians who are staffed for theses services are not doctors-in-training like I am. They’re attending-level physicians we’re talking about. While there have been general practitioners sent to the scene for minor emergencies, it’s highly skilled specialists who are sent for car accidents serious as the one Harry’s mother was involved in. Because the physicians are on the scene, they don’t have to shout instructions over the phone or delay any urgent treatment until the patients arrive at the hospital. They can do everything on the scene, and theoretically speaking, the patients have a better chance of survival this way.

I don’t know what it was like to be in that ambulance that night, but as I illustrated in my previous post, I do know what it’s like to be in an ambulance with a patient who was a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a sister. The physician who was treating Harry’s mother did his best that night, I can assure you that. He wasn’t delaying her transport to hasten her passing, he was trying to keep her alive so that she can see her family again. It was not fair for the media to attack the physician when he had no reason to go to the hospital quickly like others do in Anglo-Saxon countries; he’s skilled enough to manage the situation on his own, has a nurse assisting him, and the necessary medical equipment loaded on the ambulance. In fact, the doctor on the scene had the responsibility to ensure that he stabilized her to best of his abilities before transporting her to another hospital; after all, as I highlighted in my previous post, it’s extremely difficult to work in a moving vehicle. It would have been irresponsible of a physician of his caliber to choose to transport her immediately without proper assessment and management.

The reason I decided to emphasize the physician’s role in the death of Harry’s mother was this: the conspiracy theories that his family must have somehow caused his mother’s passing only holds true if the physician on the scene played a role. Like I wrote in one of my previous posts, there are people who escape unscathed from a car crash that injured the rest of the passengers; and vice versa. There are never guarantees that such unstable “plan” would work unless a physician on the scene took measures to ensure its success–and this is what I find so disconcerting. With multiple reports confirming Harry’s mother’s initial conditions at the scene, then coupling that with the emphasis on the time it took for her to be transported to the hospital in the report insinuates an unspeakable act–no, a sickening crime–on the doctor’s part. I understand that not every doctor is a saint; I’m fully aware that some doctors DO commit some of the most heinous crimes; I get that. But if that doctor on the scene really played a role in the death of Harry’s mother, why would he have allowed such misleading time frame to occur in the first place? The number of ways doctors can end a patient’s life are endless; but I can think of two very quick ways off the top of my head that he could have utilized in that circumstance; and Harry’s mother would have been pronounced dead on the spot; none would have been wiser; not even autopsy would have been able to pick up the very easy method I can think of right now–and I’m not even that smart. So why would a skilled physician compromise himself with such delay if he were involved in such a deed? I’ll give you the answer: it’s because he wasn’t. Like I said, the reason for the delay in her transport was because he was trying to keep her alive; he was TREATING her–not killing her; and without a physician playing a role, how is it possible to assume that Harry’s family would have been able to assassinate his mother with such an unpredictable event?

Instead of practicing investigative journalism, too many in the media have resorted to salacious gossip to maintain subscriptions. In doing so, many journalists and even some members of the public have failed to realize the detrimental effects of such gossip on young children’s psyche and their relationship with the surviving family members. I don’t know if Harry was ever tempted to believe such a tale; but I wouldn’t blame him if he were; and if he ever did, I can’t imagine the psychological torment he went through: I can’t imagine how many times he must have tossed and turned in his bed; I can’t imagine the thought that must have ran through his mind when he met his family; I can’t imagine the ambivalence and the confusion he experienced; I can’t imagine how suffocating it must have been to feel bound by the very people who may be responsible for his mother’s death; and the keyword here is “may be.” The state of such uncertainty leads to enormous amount of frustration; the frustration finds its outlet through a delinquent behavior; such misbehavior is followed by a reprimand, which fosters that resentment. It’s a vicious cycle; and the source of it all was the media’s sickening speculations.

If I saw legitimacy in the conspiracy theories, I wouldn’t have bothered to submit this post. I would have slept instead. Just because I’m empathetic to Harry’s possible psychological plight doesn’t mean I’m someone to mollycoddle a fully-grown man. The reason I sent this submission was for something else. Until now, I refrained from articulating the likelihood that Harry’s current predicament stems not from the possibility he’s not over his mother’s death, but from the resentment toward his family. I’m not stating that he’s with Ms. Markle voluntarily to spite his family; I’m simply trying to say that the series of events leading up to this moment is likely to have originated from that deeply-rooted resentment sourced in an untrue, malicious tale.

No one can force Harry to let go of that resentment. Nor can anyone force him to accept his mother’s death. But I will say this: if the life of Harry’s mother had a purpose, her death had a purpose as well. I may not know all of God’s purposes, but I can think of few:

1. By dying in a car crash without a seatbelt, she ensured many others practiced wearing seatbelts. There may be a single mother out there whose life has been saved by remembering to put on her seatbelts because Harry’s mother died. Harry and his brother may have lost their mother, but that woman’s children would have been orphaned had she not put on a seatbelt then died in a subsequent car crash. The single mother aside, countless others were reminded of the importance of seatbelts by her death. Her death prevented others from losing their loved ones.

2. She ensured that Harry and his brother would have an unbreakable bond between them. To many, it would seem fair that children are to bury their parents. We’re all mortals, after all, and Harry and his brother would have buried their mother at some point in their lives; but who’s to say their brotherly bond would have been as strong if she were still alive? This is not to suggest that his mother was a source of conflict between the two brothers. I’m merely suggesting that sharing such painful loss ensured that the brothers would forge a strong bond. We bury our parents, and our children will bury us. It’s our siblings who stay with us through the hardships and joys of life. In her death, she ensured that Harry would always have his brother by his side.

3. By losing her, Harry was taught that the most important things in life can’t be bought. We’re all taught this lesson from young age, but it’s not an easy concept to grasp if you have everything at your disposal from young age. Learning this lesson means Harry was likely kept from using people as a means to an end. In doing so, his soul is less tainted than it could have been.

4. Harry can empathize with others who’s been through the same pain. He doesn’t have to sit through his engagements, nodding away while he’s clueless as to why people in front of him are so distraught. His empathy stems from personal experience, and people who meet him will be able to receive that healing in understanding that there IS someone out there who’s been through it and CARES. He can spread God’s love through his understanding of pain now.

The list can go on, but the point in me making such list was to illustrate the fact that there is a silver lining in every cloud. Harry has a great gift. He wouldn’t be under such attack if he weren’t. The Devil always recognizes your talent far before you realize it yourself. This chapter in Harry’s life was meant to bring him closer to God. If God had no purpose for him, Harry wouldn’t even be breathing right now, let alone alive. God loves Harry, just like he loves everyone reading on here and beyond. He will make sure Harry will rise above this pain, and use the lessons he’s learned for His glory.

-Roseberrycupcakes (RCC)

Thank you roseberrycupcakes