(**JD, this is the one I meant to send. So sorry I keep messing up. I’m just really sleep-deprived. Xoxo, Roseberry)
There was a reason I sent an extremely long post detailing what it is like to lose a patient from a physician’s point-of-view. If there was one thing that bothered me while I followed the coverage of this “relationship,” it was the fact that a woman who has long passed is kept from finding her peace. The incessant need by the media to drag Harry’s mother into this mess combined with the level of conspiracy surrounding that tragic day is not only disrespectful to her and her surviving family members, but also to the entire medical community.
From what I’ve noticed, many have wondered why Harry’s mother was not immediately transported to a nearby hospital. Indeed, it was the delay that birthed numerous conspiracy theories; but that delay had nothing to do with who she was; it had everything to do with French emergency medical system. The French system is unlike any in Anglo-Saxon countries, because its units are staffed with a physician, a nurse, and/or an EMT. In Anglo-Saxon countries, such team NEVER includes physicians unless it’s a mass scale emergency; doctors are simply too “valuable” to be dispatched for ONE patient when they can be seeing many in the ER; so it’s the EMTs or the paramedics that arrive on the scene. Indeed, the very reason the patients HAVE to be transported to the hospital as quickly as possible is BECAUSE these first responders are not doctors; I’m not saying this in any way, shape, or form to dismiss the hard work that all the first responders do; they play a vital role in stabilizing the patients on the scene, and I respect them greatly; but like I said in my previous submission, the buck stops with the doctors. That’s why ensuring that the physicians examine the patients as soon as possible is a key component in any emergency service; but because Franco-German model includes a physician as a team member, there is no need to transport the patient–ANY patient–to the hospital as quickly as they do in Anglo-Saxon countries. The physicians who are staffed for theses services are not doctors-in-training like I am. They’re attending-level physicians we’re talking about. While there have been general practitioners sent to the scene for minor emergencies, it’s highly skilled specialists who are sent for car accidents serious as the one Harry’s mother was involved in. Because the physicians are on the scene, they don’t have to shout instructions over the phone or delay any urgent treatment until the patients arrive at the hospital. They can do everything on the scene, and theoretically speaking, the patients have a better chance of survival this way.
I don’t know what it was like to be in that ambulance that night, but as I illustrated in my previous post, I do know what it’s like to be in an ambulance with a patient who was a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a sister. The physician who was treating Harry’s mother did his best that night, I can assure you that. He wasn’t delaying her transport to hasten her passing, he was trying to keep her alive so that she can see her family again. It was not fair for the media to attack the physician when he had no reason to go to the hospital quickly like others do in Anglo-Saxon countries; he’s skilled enough to manage the situation on his own, has a nurse assisting him, and the necessary medical equipment loaded on the ambulance. In fact, the doctor on the scene had the responsibility to ensure that he stabilized her to best of his abilities before transporting her to another hospital; after all, as I highlighted in my previous post, it’s extremely difficult to work in a moving vehicle. It would have been irresponsible of a physician of his caliber to choose to transport her immediately without proper assessment and management.
The reason I decided to emphasize the physician’s role in the death of Harry’s mother was this: the conspiracy theories that his family must have somehow caused his mother’s passing only holds true if the physician on the scene played a role. Like I wrote in one of my previous posts, there are people who escape unscathed from a car crash that injured the rest of the passengers; and vice versa. There are never guarantees that such unstable “plan” would work unless a physician on the scene took measures to ensure its success–and this is what I find so disconcerting. With multiple reports confirming Harry’s mother’s initial conditions at the scene, then coupling that with the emphasis on the time it took for her to be transported to the hospital in the report insinuates an unspeakable act–no, a sickening crime–on the doctor’s part. I understand that not every doctor is a saint; I’m fully aware that some doctors DO commit some of the most heinous crimes; I get that. But if that doctor on the scene really played a role in the death of Harry’s mother, why would he have allowed such misleading time frame to occur in the first place? The number of ways doctors can end a patient’s life are endless; but I can think of two very quick ways off the top of my head that he could have utilized in that circumstance; and Harry’s mother would have been pronounced dead on the spot; none would have been wiser; not even autopsy would have been able to pick up the very easy method I can think of right now–and I’m not even that smart. So why would a skilled physician compromise himself with such delay if he were involved in such a deed? I’ll give you the answer: it’s because he wasn’t. Like I said, the reason for the delay in her transport was because he was trying to keep her alive; he was TREATING her–not killing her; and without a physician playing a role, how is it possible to assume that Harry’s family would have been able to assassinate his mother with such an unpredictable event?
Instead of practicing investigative journalism, too many in the media have resorted to salacious gossip to maintain subscriptions. In doing so, many journalists and even some members of the public have failed to realize the detrimental effects of such gossip on young children’s psyche and their relationship with the surviving family members. I don’t know if Harry was ever tempted to believe such a tale; but I wouldn’t blame him if he were; and if he ever did, I can’t imagine the psychological torment he went through: I can’t imagine how many times he must have tossed and turned in his bed; I can’t imagine the thought that must have ran through his mind when he met his family; I can’t imagine the ambivalence and the confusion he experienced; I can’t imagine how suffocating it must have been to feel bound by the very people who may be responsible for his mother’s death; and the keyword here is “may be.” The state of such uncertainty leads to enormous amount of frustration; the frustration finds its outlet through a delinquent behavior; such misbehavior is followed by a reprimand, which fosters that resentment. It’s a vicious cycle; and the source of it all was the media’s sickening speculations.
If I saw legitimacy in the conspiracy theories, I wouldn’t have bothered to submit this post. I would have slept instead. Just because I’m empathetic to Harry’s possible psychological plight doesn’t mean I’m someone to mollycoddle a fully-grown man. The reason I sent this submission was for something else. Until now, I refrained from articulating the likelihood that Harry’s current predicament stems not from the possibility he’s not over his mother’s death, but from the resentment toward his family. I’m not stating that he’s with Ms. Markle voluntarily to spite his family; I’m simply trying to say that the series of events leading up to this moment is likely to have originated from that deeply-rooted resentment sourced in an untrue, malicious tale.
No one can force Harry to let go of that resentment. Nor can anyone force him to accept his mother’s death. But I will say this: if the life of Harry’s mother had a purpose, her death had a purpose as well. I may not know all of God’s purposes, but I can think of few:
1. By dying in a car crash without a seatbelt, she ensured many others practiced wearing seatbelts. There may be a single mother out there whose life has been saved by remembering to put on her seatbelts because Harry’s mother died. Harry and his brother may have lost their mother, but that woman’s children would have been orphaned had she not put on a seatbelt then died in a subsequent car crash. The single mother aside, countless others were reminded of the importance of seatbelts by her death. Her death prevented others from losing their loved ones.
2. She ensured that Harry and his brother would have an unbreakable bond between them. To many, it would seem fair that children are to bury their parents. We’re all mortals, after all, and Harry and his brother would have buried their mother at some point in their lives; but who’s to say their brotherly bond would have been as strong if she were still alive? This is not to suggest that his mother was a source of conflict between the two brothers. I’m merely suggesting that sharing such painful loss ensured that the brothers would forge a strong bond. We bury our parents, and our children will bury us. It’s our siblings who stay with us through the hardships and joys of life. In her death, she ensured that Harry would always have his brother by his side.
3. By losing her, Harry was taught that the most important things in life can’t be bought. We’re all taught this lesson from young age, but it’s not an easy concept to grasp if you have everything at your disposal from young age. Learning this lesson means Harry was likely kept from using people as a means to an end. In doing so, his soul is less tainted than it could have been.
4. Harry can empathize with others who’s been through the same pain. He doesn’t have to sit through his engagements, nodding away while he’s clueless as to why people in front of him are so distraught. His empathy stems from personal experience, and people who meet him will be able to receive that healing in understanding that there IS someone out there who’s been through it and CARES. He can spread God’s love through his understanding of pain now.
The list can go on, but the point in me making such list was to illustrate the fact that there is a silver lining in every cloud. Harry has a great gift. He wouldn’t be under such attack if he weren’t. The Devil always recognizes your talent far before you realize it yourself. This chapter in Harry’s life was meant to bring him closer to God. If God had no purpose for him, Harry wouldn’t even be breathing right now, let alone alive. God loves Harry, just like he loves everyone reading on here and beyond. He will make sure Harry will rise above this pain, and use the lessons he’s learned for His glory.
Thank you roseberrycupcakes